I have recently discovered a trend that has most likely spanned the course of my life without my knowledge: a particular affinity for Tacky Blonde Ladies. Wherever I am, if there is a Tacky Blonde Lady in the immediate vicinity, any demons brewing within me are instantly appeased and my mood noticeably brightens. But what classifies such an elusive creature? And why are they such a priceless commodity in my mind? So many questions, the possibility for so few answers.
The first qualifier to be a Tacky Blonde Lady is that, of course, she should not be naturally blonde. The hair should be multiply-processed, so that it achieves a consistency rather like that of straw, and if roots are visible, all the better. Makeup is overdone - I saw a stunning example last night that involved quite a liberal use of lipliner, a rare treasure. In keeping with the tacky theme, clothing should be gaudy - beaded, spangled, fringed, or bedazzled, and far too tight, too short, too low-cut. The general effect should be that on an inhabitant of the tri-state region (excepting Connecticut) with a sincere appreciation of the 1980s.
As for demeanor, such Tacky Blonde Ladies can run the spectrum from slightly overly friendly to the full-on touchy and brassy, sprinkling her conversations with an overuse of "hon". One such example witnessed in her native habitat of New York (though probably née in New Jersey, come to think of it) several months ago managed to work her waitress's name (the wrong name, I might add) into two out of every three sentences! "Oh my God, Danielle [Stephanie], this salad is amazing. Danielle, you're our favorite waitress here. You make every visit such a delight, Danielle." Ad infinitum. This fine specimen was dining with her husband who was approximately 20 years her senior, probably a doctor from the looks of him - one of those men who, in exasperation of never being able to get a word in edgewise, has simply given up. She touched and patted him constantly throughout the meal, as Tacky Blonde Ladies love interpersonal contact, and chattered at him, eyes sparkling to match her outfit.
Needless to say, much like StephanieDanielle made her meal, so she made mine. There is something about Tacky Blonde Ladies that draws me to them, making me feel like I know them, making me want to talk to them. Call it charisma, call it rubbernecking at the scene of a horrible wreck, they make me want to know more. I have no idea why they comfort me so, make me feel at home; Lord knows my own mother, though blonde, is about the farthest thing from a Tacky Blonde Lady. Perhaps somewhere buried deep in my childhood was an encounter with a Linda or a Suzanne from Hoboken or Astoria who saw a young girl in need of guidance, and so unbeknownst to me, bestowed her unending wisdom upon me, binding me to her forever. Or perhaps it was the fact that much of my formative era was spent with the New York Jew neighbors at their family gatherings. Whatever it is, my life just would not be the same without them...I would not be the same without them.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Thursday, March 16, 2006
The Feminine Mystique, By Jessica Simpson
In contemporary society, do women have any kind of power? Upon examining commercials and programs on television, one habitually sees attractive, skinny women with men that are fat or ugly, or even both, for example, in the sitcom "King of Queens". The wife is pretty, her hair is styled, and she is always wearing makeup, but her husband is very heavy and quite ordinary-looking. One would never see the inverse: a handsome man with a fat, ugly woman. This begs the question, do women have power outside of the context of their sexuality, or do they even have power at all? It seems that women only have power that has been assigned to them by men, and taking this idea further, it seems that women are only defined in the context of the men who have created them. In examining the Pizza Hut Cheesy Bites pizza commercial with the singer Jessica Simpson (which can be seen here), one can pose the question about the a woman's image and her relation with men.
In this ad, from the beginning it is apparent that the young, adolescent boy has absolute power over his family. He orders dinner for his father, mother, and younger sister: "We're gonna have the new Cheesy Bites pizza, please." Evidently, he is the patriarch of the family, he speaks for everyone, and what he says is indisputable. His mother gazes at him with adulation, how wonderful her son is! Even the waiter obeys him: he acknowledges wthat the adolescent says, and he starts to leave to realise the boy's desire. This adolescent, however, is not a man at all: he still has the curls of a young boy who has not yet had to undergo the obligation of cutting them to become a "little man", according to the traditional rite of passage for boys. This teenager is clearly a miniature despot, the golden boy of his family.
Suddenly we hear the first few notes of a song and the young boy is seen in a spotlight. Jessica Simpson enters the scene, dressed in boots and a short, red dress, with a pizza in her hand. Her movements provoke a reaction in the boy - he reacts to her legs and her walk; he is clearly attracted by her. She throws him some Cheesy Bites, explicit phallic symbols, and he catches them in his mouth. Finally, she approaches him and places a Cheesy Bite in his mouth herself, singing, "One of these days these Bites are gonna pop right into you." One thinks that it is Jessica who has this power to give, and that it is she who has this power over him because after this small meal, the boy faints - action typically perceived as feminine and passive. Now he is submissive to her power, to her charm. He is no longer a despot, but a sort of slave belonging to her.
However, there is a second interpretation to this ad. At the first glance, one believes that this commercial could be somewhat feminist: it is the woman who has control over the masculine signifier, who could easily usurp his role as the most powerful person. But upon closer examination, there is a troubling message.
How does Jessica have this power over him? Firstly, her power comes from her physique, there is no question about this. She is very feminine, not a hair is out of place, and she wears a little dress that shows her legs and breasts, the parts of the female body which are always sexualized. One always hears the question asked of American men, "Are you a breast man or a leg man?" Thanks to Jessica, here it is not necessary to choose: her sexuality is almost universal. Her hair is long and blonde, the standard of American beauty, the "All-American Girl" - a living Barbie doll. And even better, she's carrying food! - here is the good little wife and the femme fatale at the same time, the "ideal woman" of whom all men dream. This is hardly feminist.
Furthermore, only when she is carrying a phallus does she have power. In the same manner that femmes fatales like Marlene Dietrich had cigarettes to indicate their power (again, the cigarette is a clear phallic symbol), these Cheesy Bites represent the same thing. Evidently, the power of a woman does not count for anything. She does not have power over the young boy because of some sort of natural feminine power, if one even exists within the context of this ad, with its traditional role of the woman as the seductor. The fact that she gives the phallus to the boy is almost a rite of passage resembling the first sexual act. Through the female he receives his phallus, which he incorporates into his body by eating. She feeds him his masculinity, and from this moment on, the young boy changes state. He faints, which is parallel to orgasm, another change of state. He is now in ecstasy, a state literally "outside of stasis", and the transgression of this limit makes him, defines him as a man.
Therefore the power of Jessica exists here purely through the sexual act. She gives the boy his masculine identity and again, this begs the question, do women have a real power? If the feminine power exists only through the masculine sexuality, do women have a power outside of this context? This ad is intriguing but distressing because some viewers will only see its first interpreation: where the woman appears to be strong and dominant. They will not question how she gained this power, nor the limits or contexts of it. Additionally, this ad is poignant because only several years ago Jessica Simpson believed herself to represent a positive role model for women, especially for young girls, by demonstrating that one did not have to be sexualized to suceed in life; certainly this is no longer the case. It seems one must look elsewhere to find a good representation of feminine power, and hope that one even exists at all.
In this ad, from the beginning it is apparent that the young, adolescent boy has absolute power over his family. He orders dinner for his father, mother, and younger sister: "We're gonna have the new Cheesy Bites pizza, please." Evidently, he is the patriarch of the family, he speaks for everyone, and what he says is indisputable. His mother gazes at him with adulation, how wonderful her son is! Even the waiter obeys him: he acknowledges wthat the adolescent says, and he starts to leave to realise the boy's desire. This adolescent, however, is not a man at all: he still has the curls of a young boy who has not yet had to undergo the obligation of cutting them to become a "little man", according to the traditional rite of passage for boys. This teenager is clearly a miniature despot, the golden boy of his family.
Suddenly we hear the first few notes of a song and the young boy is seen in a spotlight. Jessica Simpson enters the scene, dressed in boots and a short, red dress, with a pizza in her hand. Her movements provoke a reaction in the boy - he reacts to her legs and her walk; he is clearly attracted by her. She throws him some Cheesy Bites, explicit phallic symbols, and he catches them in his mouth. Finally, she approaches him and places a Cheesy Bite in his mouth herself, singing, "One of these days these Bites are gonna pop right into you." One thinks that it is Jessica who has this power to give, and that it is she who has this power over him because after this small meal, the boy faints - action typically perceived as feminine and passive. Now he is submissive to her power, to her charm. He is no longer a despot, but a sort of slave belonging to her.
However, there is a second interpretation to this ad. At the first glance, one believes that this commercial could be somewhat feminist: it is the woman who has control over the masculine signifier, who could easily usurp his role as the most powerful person. But upon closer examination, there is a troubling message.
How does Jessica have this power over him? Firstly, her power comes from her physique, there is no question about this. She is very feminine, not a hair is out of place, and she wears a little dress that shows her legs and breasts, the parts of the female body which are always sexualized. One always hears the question asked of American men, "Are you a breast man or a leg man?" Thanks to Jessica, here it is not necessary to choose: her sexuality is almost universal. Her hair is long and blonde, the standard of American beauty, the "All-American Girl" - a living Barbie doll. And even better, she's carrying food! - here is the good little wife and the femme fatale at the same time, the "ideal woman" of whom all men dream. This is hardly feminist.
Furthermore, only when she is carrying a phallus does she have power. In the same manner that femmes fatales like Marlene Dietrich had cigarettes to indicate their power (again, the cigarette is a clear phallic symbol), these Cheesy Bites represent the same thing. Evidently, the power of a woman does not count for anything. She does not have power over the young boy because of some sort of natural feminine power, if one even exists within the context of this ad, with its traditional role of the woman as the seductor. The fact that she gives the phallus to the boy is almost a rite of passage resembling the first sexual act. Through the female he receives his phallus, which he incorporates into his body by eating. She feeds him his masculinity, and from this moment on, the young boy changes state. He faints, which is parallel to orgasm, another change of state. He is now in ecstasy, a state literally "outside of stasis", and the transgression of this limit makes him, defines him as a man.
Therefore the power of Jessica exists here purely through the sexual act. She gives the boy his masculine identity and again, this begs the question, do women have a real power? If the feminine power exists only through the masculine sexuality, do women have a power outside of this context? This ad is intriguing but distressing because some viewers will only see its first interpreation: where the woman appears to be strong and dominant. They will not question how she gained this power, nor the limits or contexts of it. Additionally, this ad is poignant because only several years ago Jessica Simpson believed herself to represent a positive role model for women, especially for young girls, by demonstrating that one did not have to be sexualized to suceed in life; certainly this is no longer the case. It seems one must look elsewhere to find a good representation of feminine power, and hope that one even exists at all.
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